Car

From The Original Sex Wiki

A type of drivable bed with four huge wheels and at least one driver invented by Al Gore. Accommodates two too many and is good for mobile masturbation, couple sex and groupsex. The persons you find in a car are the driver, very often the codriver and occasionally one or more passengers. All of them have special duties and obligations.

Contents

Cars reflecting Sexual Attributes

If the car is owned by a woman, the type of car usually reflects some of her sexual attributes:

  • Audi: Might wear platforms in bed, will give you a BJ the 4th time you date her.
  • BMW: Owns at least 10 sex toys, shaves her pussy once a week, will give you a BJ the 3rd time you date her. Shapes her pubic hair into a landing strip.
  • Cooper Mini: If the driver is a girl, she is hot. If the driver is a man, he is gay
  • Hummer or Humvee: If the driver is female, hope she is wearing a short skirt or dress. If the driver is wearing a uniform, he or she is probably armed.
  • Mazda: Wears thongs, will give you a BJ the 2nd time you date her.
  • Porsche: She will expect lots of jewelry in exchange for any type of sex. Lasers her pussy hair off.
  • Rolls Royce: Only suitable if you like GILF - otherwise stay miles away.
  • Toyota: Wears G-Strings, will give you a BJ the 2nd time you date her
  • Volvo: white cottons, hairy pussy and anus and sometimes legs, double layered bra, she will not give you a BJ and will never allow anal.
  • Any type of Van or SUV: Definitely a MILF.
  • If not a car, but a pickup truck? Make sure she takes off the spurs before mounting you for a Cowgirl or Reverse cowgirl sex position


Sexual Activities in the Car

The most common sexual activitiy in a car is to give and receive a handjob, followed by blowjob and finger fuck. Depending on the size of the car, a variety of sex positions has been spotted as well as car masturbation turning a car into a not so rare masturbation location.

Further Reading



The Main Purpose of a Car Documented



The Importance of choosing the Right Car (for Males)

  • Reverse car flashing: Getting flashed while behind the wheel: Despite many rumors, the flash rate is not related to the price of the car and there is no golden rule. There seems to be some very secret wavelength within females which is triggered by undocumented signals coming from different car types. Igors stats of being reverse car flashed on Friday and Saturday nights on his way across town (8 miles) to the city center:
    • 38 year old Land Rover Defender: Once a year.
    • 39 year old Land Rover Defender with huge VC logos on each side: 2 times a night
    • Brand new, black, shiny Porsche 911 with nobody else in the car but Igor: 1 time a night
    • Brand new, black, shiny Porsche 911 with Igor driving the car and a sexy lady beside him: 2 times a night
    • Brand new, black, shiny Porsche 911 with a sexy lady driving the car and drunk Igor on the codriver's seat: 6 times a night
    • Dark blue 'Smart' convertible with white VC logos on each side: 10 times a night (but alone)
    • Avis Rentals of any type: zero
    • Hertz Rentals of any type: zero
    • Sitting as passenger in a taxi: zero
    • Standing as passenger in a limo along with a naked lady hanging out of the sun roof: All nightlong


Hidden Car Trick

One of the greatest magic tricks ever revealed... The Disappearing Car Trick. Take one automobile. Add one naked lady. And magically, the car is no longer seen in the image. The following are two examples. Rumors are a car is actually in the each image. See if you can find the hidden car:

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